User talk:Creepyscaryapegirl
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the She Was Different page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Jay ten (talk) 21:30, September 15, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:38, September 15, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards due to punctuation, wording, capitalization, and story issues. Wording issues: tense shifting. "It was ok that they say (said) things to her, it had never bothered her." Awkward wording. "Suddenly the rocks they had previously thrown at her were lifted into the air by an unseen force and thrown at them one by one." Capitalization issues: "More than what i (I)...", song titles should be properly titled: "Who am I living for” by Katy Perry for example. Punctuation issues: commas missing before dialogue. "He turned to her and said(comma missing) “Listen here, Fifty Shades of Gay, you're gonna rot in jail for this. I will make sure of it.” Story issues: "This, she later found out, was called “telekinesis”. She was also able to manipulate video footage to show something other than what had truly happened." Telekinesis is the act of exerting force on an external object without using physical exertion. (i.e. has no impact on manipulating data.) Speaking of that, this excerpt "The boy was sent to the mental institution to live out the rest of his days in the solitude of a straight jacket in a padded cell." Why would they do this? His brother was beaten to death and thrown 'off in the distance'. He didn't vanish there is no real reason why he was committed other than applying a pointless punishment to him, Story issues cont.: please read this guide on OC/CPCs. Your story subscribes to a lot of cliches. Pointless/cartoonish bullies: "In the days leading up to the talent show, people were yelling at her and taunting her as she walked through the halls. Telling her to give up, kill herself, things like that.", ridiculous overpowered Mary Sue OC "he broke the bars off of the window that sat across from them and beat him to death with them.', etc. I'm sorry, but your story was just a re-hashing of the multiple CPC stories we get every week. (Bullied character snaps, murders bullies, using ridiculous powers.) This is a generic trope that we stopped accepting years ago because everyone was posting one and they were all almost identical. There is little to no horror elements here, it comes off more like a power-revenge fantasy than an attempt at writing horror. I'm sorry you feel persecuted, but that's on you. We're focused on quality here and are trying to weed out stories that were posted in the past that have massive issues. There are a lot of issues in your story and instead of working on them, you are choosing to throw a temper-tantrum. Best of luck in your future endeavors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:28, September 16, 2015 (UTC)